A Thousand Trials
by Bubbles.xox
Summary: It hurt, achingly so; deep, pure, and true. They thought it was the death of a loved one. For her, however, it was the death of her very soul. Oneshot. Slight spoilers for season 2; takes place sometime after 'By Light of the Moon'.


**Summary: It hurt, achingly so; deep, pure, and true. They thought it was the death of a loved one. For her, however, it was the death of her very soul. Oneshot.**

**A Thousand Trials**

Elena's heels clicked loudly upon the tile floor of the sparsely-filled sitting room. Slipping between the people who lingered, she tried desperately not to look at the many sympathetic looks she knew she was receiving. Jenna's pleading look stood out from the corner of her eye. Alaric stood beside her, his arm wrapped delicately around her waist. Elena continued to receive hushed apologies and condolences for her loss. Her lack of response was not to blame on bitterness or barbarity. A tear trickled silently down her pale cheek, but brushing it away hastily, Elena made her way up the wooden stairs.

As she climbed up the stairs, her pace began to quicken as she fought back tears of grief. Before she could even think about it, her hand grasped the doorknob as the end of the hall. She paused, letting her grip lessen on the metal knob. _Would this make things worse? _Her hand moved of its own accord then, and the door opened soundlessly. A tiny whimper escaped her lips as she noticed the clothes hanging upon the back of the chair, the bed that hadn't been touched since that morning... It looked as though he could have been out running an errand of some sort. It didn't look remotely as if he wouldn't be returning.

Closing the door behind her, Elena shuffled quietly over to the empty bed as if not to uplift any lingering dust. She slipped beneath the sheets and pulled the duvet over her trembling body. That bed held so many memories, some distant, but seeming just as if they had occurred yesterday. Tears came to her eyes but this time she didn't even attempt to hold them back. She clutched at her stomach, trying to prevent herself from cracking in half. Her sobbing continued as she buried her face in the crumpled white pillow. His scent lingered there and Elena took a deep breath, letting the scent travel swiftly up her nostrils, penetrating deep into her temporal lobe. Life no longer stood for what it used to.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted something that was most definitely out of place; the _only_ thing that appeared to be in the reasonably tidy room.

The notebook lay on its spine; the pages falling outwards onto the thick cover pages. It was dirty, well-worn – just as hers was. The difference being that hers was in its rightful place; on the second shelf, hiding behind a truly hideous ceramic mermaid. The sight was new to her eyes. Being a writer of a diary herself, she was never really interested in what Stefan wrote into his own. It was private; private memories and thoughts etched onto the once blank pages of the book.

Her cries subsided for just a moment as she deliberated whether or not to read the sacred words, thought of only by Stefan a few months, weeks, or perhaps days previously. She slid off the bed and padded towards the open book. Just as she was about to close it, to honour his privacy even in death, a single word caught her deep brown eye. _Elena_.

Yes, of course she had written about him in her diary, but seeing her name printed every so neatly in his slanted script, caused her heart to crack even further. Her eyes travelled along the worn page.

_Katherine found out about us. Not only that, but it was partially Damon's fault that she did. Further still, Elena called it quits. I can't say that I don't understand, because I truly do, I just wish this didn't happen. But then again, everyone hopes for what was lost, but what we need to decide is what to do with the time and the things; the people who are given to us..._

A ringing cry escaped from between her lips, her heart splitting right down the center; an irreversible rift, never to be whole – complete – again. Her knees buckled and she crumpled to the floor, clutching the diary between her small, shaking hands. She unconsciously flipped a few pages.

_My throat is still singing at the afterthought of her sweet blood. After just a few days of being trapped in that God forsaken tomb, Elena rushed to my aid. The sex was amazing, don't get me wrong, but her blood that night... maybe it was because I hadn't eaten for some time, but all I know is that her blood is like dessert for the dead. I should know._

Unlike the rest of the pages which were left blank after his entries, this one had an entry just a few spaces bellow the previous.

_Elena is my life now. I can't imagine a day without her. I know we've been through a lot – but the thought of us being back together... Well this may seem like a very immature thing to say (well, immature for a one-hundred and sixty-two year old vampire, that is). The thought of us being together again turns me on immensely. I'm lying beside her in bed right now; if I didn't know that she desperately needed sleep, I'd wake her up and make love to her over and over and over again. Because she needs to know how much I want her; how much I need her. _

Tears filling her eyes again; feeling absolutely isolated and abandoned, she treaded back to the bed, sinking down into the sheets and pressing her nose into the pillows. _Alone_. The little book fell to the ground as her grasp around it failed. She gripped the sheets in her trembling fingers; her digits turning white at the pressure. _Alone_. Her eyelids slid over her irises; cutting out the blurred visions she faced. Her chest felt as though there was a hole in it; it had been stabbed, surely, her heart cut out, and her skin sloppily sewn back together. _Alone_.

His scent - his 'oh-so-perfect' scent – invaded her nostrils; she whimpered. _Lost; alone._

'_Come home.'_

Her eyes still squeezing tight together, she rocked herself as if to comfort. Warmth spread through her body as an arm wrapped around her. She jumped and shot off the bed. Eyes wide in fear she looked at the bed, her arms falling to her sides.

Bright green eyes stared straight at her from their place on the bed. They were embedded in the sockets of their owner. His lips parted and she gasped as the heavenly sounds of his voice burst through. "Elena." His hand reached for her and she lifted her hand, her fingers toying with his briefly – staring at his frame in wonder. He was wrapped in the soft cotton sheets, his muscular shoulders exposed. She guessed he was naked beneath the sheets. He grasped at his hand and he pulled her to him. She allowed herself to go willingly.

He pulled her to perch atop his waist. Her legs slip around his hips; their pelvises coming into full contact. Already she could feel his arousal.

Elena didn't understand; Stefan _was_ dead. She had seen his pale body turn to ash just those few days previously. Hallucination was a definite possibility; she hadn't been sleeping well at all. It wasn't possible; it wasn't real – he wasn't lying under her with that dazzling smile. But yet she was.

Elena shook her head. His hand squeezed her knee, exposed by the fact that she was wearing a dress to the 'viewing' – not that there was much viewing involved; as there was no body recovered. Her eyes fluttered closed at the impact. Butterflies crowded her stomach and her chest felt lighter somehow, like it wasn't being crushed with a cement block.

He spoke softly, "Elena baby," he said softly, her breath catching again. He sat up, bringing her with him. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Baby, are you okay?"

Her cheeks were moist with tears previously fallen. The pads of his thumbs gently brushed them away, pulling her face to his own; capturing her lips in a sweet kiss. Elena pulled away and swallowed as she tried to comprehend what was going on. "Y-y... you're here?"

"Of course, I knew you couldn't live without me." Elena didn't ask any questions in response to the statement. Instead, she lowered her head to his again. Her hair spread around their faces as their lips attached to each others. "I missed you so much, Elena," he mumbled against her lips. Elena pulled back again and smiled for the first time since the incident. Her fingers skimmed lightly over his defined jaw, across his full lips and to his cheeks. She cupped his head between her hands; her heart beating faster and her pulse quicken at the look in his eyes.

Stefan's hands skimmed along her slender legs, bunching her dress up around her hips. His hands raced – with vampire speed – around her body, unzipping her dress and pulling it over her head. Her bra followed immediately, her breasts bouncing loose from their imprisonment. Her eyes fluttered closed as his hands swept along her sides and stomach, paying special attention to her breasts and nipples. He stroked and prodded at her body, as though reacquainting himself.

Elena whimpered at his caresses. His fingers knew exactly what to do to her body. "Stefan," she moaned as he gave a loving squeeze to her left breast. Repeating the action to the other, Elena felt herself dampen at the crotch.

He removed her lacy underwear with ease, and gently flipped her over, covering her nude body with his. His lips nipped gently at her neck, but Elena turned her head to the side and attached her lips to his; locking the two of them in a passionate kiss. Elena's arms ran up his defined arms and encircled his strong neck. Grunting as his hand found her breast again, she fisted his hair in her hands.

His lips sucked gently at hers, his tongue slipping within and exploring the territory within. Through the tender touches, he managed to gently roll Elena to the top again. Elena happily straddled his hips and smiled as his length slid effortlessly into her. Their kiss continued, their hands roaming each other's bodies; never tiring of the feeling of touching. Elena rocked her hips against his, Stefan meeting her thrust for thrust. She gripped at his shoulders as he sat up, arms encircling and tightening around her waist. At the sudden change of angle, he hit a particularly sensitive spot and Elena moaned, tightening her hold around his neck and burying her face into his shoulder.

"I can't – uh – believe I'm – uh ... OH! – actually touching you..." Elena panted into his shoulder, biting down into his skin as his nimble fingers found her clitoris. Eyes rolling into the back of her head, she moaned his name loudly, from deep from the back of her throat, "Stefan!"

Stefan continued to push upwards when Elena reached her peek. Hands running through his hands again, she knew she would never take this for granted – not that she ever had before – but, it just felt so amazing to _touch _him. Elena's back arched one final time and then sank back into the soft, cotton sheets. Stefan fell with her, his head burying itself into her neck. Panting to get more precious oxygen into their systems, Elena's hands clutched at Stefan's head, weaving her fingers through the locks of his hair.

Chests heaving, panting for the precious element of oxygen; Stefan's hands stroked along her back, up and down her spinal column. He pressed a kiss to her nose and she smiled hazily.

"I knew you weren't gone," she said suddenly. "I saw you ... I did, I was there when you- when you ... left, but here was no body, because you turned to ash ... but how could you be gone?" Stefan continued to rub her back soothingly as she lay atop him. "We were prepared. We really were, so how could Klaus come and just- a-and just- take you? Disposed of you like you weren't my everything; my reason for living?" He turned them to the side and spooned against her. He caught her hand in his and held it as the pain of the last few days was released. "But you're not gone; you're here." Elena turned to face him and gazing into his emerald eyes. "You're here," she repeated. "I knew you were alive ... they thought there was something wrong; I wasn't showing any emotion ... because I knew you were here," Elena whispered, raising her neck to kiss him softly.

"I won't ever leave you, not again. I've seen you without me, and although I'll always be here," he pressed his hand to a spot just above her breast, "I know that isn't enough..."

Elena buried her head into the crook of his neck, inhaling the familiar scent. "Nothing but you – exactly as you are – could ever be enough for me."

She felt Stefan smile softly against her hair and then his hand gripped hers tightly. He began to rise, pulling her along with him. Her eyes cracked open, wrapping her arms around him neck. Her bare breasts pressed against his solid and just as naked chest. "Where are we going?"

Stefan smiled; "Nowhere, anywhere..." he rocked with her gently, as though they were dancing to a silent song. "Where did you want to go?"

Elena smiled along with him and sighed contentedly, "As long as I'm with you; anywhere."

Stefan bent to capture her lips in a kiss. She readily responded, and a final tear of happiness fell from beneath her lashes and she let go; let go of the pain, the heartache... let go of life.

* * *

Bonnie stood amongst the mourners. There were few; Stefan had never been one for crowds. She talked quietly with the others at the viewing, not paying much attention to anything; the past few days had been such a blur. Still hardly able to believe what had occurred a mere five days previously, Bonnie took a deep breath, trying to calm herself.

Though the room was pretty warm, a sudden shiver rippled down her spine; causing even her toes to go numb. Her eyes snapped to the ceiling. Something was wrong.

Making a discrete waving motion to Caroline and Damon, she made her way over to the stairs Elena had climbed and hour or two before. Damon was the first to join her, falling into synchronized steps. He talked in a subdued manner. "What's up?" Although Damon had always complained, and had quite often gone out of his way to make life harder for Stefan, after losing his brother, he had changed dramatically.

"Something's up... I don't know exactly what. But it's something..."

"I wonder what it could be," Caroline had joined them, and Bonnie knew she hadn't missed anything; thanks to her extraordinary hearing. They rushed to Stefan's room, and cracked the door open an inch, peering in.

Caroline sighed, "She's just sleeping. We shouldn't wake her, she desperately needs sleep..."

Bonnie nodded, but still refused, "You know as well as I do that if she gives up the opportunity to give a word about him, she'll regret it for the rest of her mortal life." She continued to open the door and stepped soundlessly into the room. With the exception of the creak of one floorboard, she succeeded to make it to the bedside without making a peep. "Elena ... I'm sorry, honey, but you have to get up."

Elena didn't make any motion as to whether she had heard Bonnie or not. She lay peacefully on the bed, eyes closed in slumber.

Bonnie made another attempt. "Elena, it's time to get up." Still no movement.

Caroline sat on the edge of the bed, while Damon stood at the doorway. He hadn't moved since the door opened; and now he looked as though he was concentrating desperately at the wall opposite him. Caroline looked over to the wall as well, and seeing nothing she questioned him, "Damon, what're you looking at?"

Not even bothering to answer her question, he answered one of his own. "Do you hear that?"

Caroline thought the question was odd; there was complete silence in the room. Still, she stopped breathing, listening deep into the silence. There was a muted voice of Matt downstairs, talking to Sheriff Forbes. As well as a knock on the door, signalling another arrival, the distant hum of the refrigerator and the purr of a car engine on the main road, a mile or so east. But nothing neither close enough nor important enough to be considered a noise. "No, I don't hear anything. Why? What do you hear?"

"Nothing."

Bonnie rolled her eyes and let out a frustrated groan, "Well then why did you-"

Damon interrupted her angry spillage of words, "That's exactly the point; I don't hear anything."

Caroline's eyes grew wide, and she reached for Elena's hand. Her hand pulled back instinctively. "It's cold."

"What?" Bonnie sat in the dark, unaware of the desperation the two vampires were fighting. "What's going on?"

"Bonnie," Caroline sniffed, "she's not breathing."

"What do you mean, she's not breathing?" Bonnie sounded offended.

"I mean, she's not breathing, I- we," she referenced to herself and Damon, "can't hear her breathing... and she's cold to the touch..." Caroline trailed off.

Bonnie grasped Elena's shoulders, "Elena wake up." She shook her friend; no movement except that Elena's arm limply collapsed to the bedspread. "Elena?" Fresh tears of anguish came to Bonnie's eyes. She glanced to Caroline and Damon, silently asking for help... a silent plea for courage. "Elena?" Elena's eyes remained closed; detached; lifeless. "Elena?" Bonnie shrieked and let her tears fall onto her best friend's face.

Caroline rushed to Bonnie and pulled her back from pulling at Elena's body. Holding her securely, she could only watch as Damon groaned and dropped to the side of the bed, tears flooding his eyes. He let out a heart-wrenching sob.

Caroline felt tears dribble quietly down her cheeks. Upon catching a glimpse of the ring resting on Elena's finger, she lifted her lifeless hand to inspect. She slid the delicate band off Elena's finger, inspecting it with her keen brown eyes. Bonnie joined her and read aloud the inscription.

"'S + E'," Caroline read the letters almost in a whisper and continued on, "'forever'," she finished. "What's this?" she asked to no one in particular, for no one really knew. Not one person had seen the delicate piece of jewellery before; Elena's finger certainly hadn't been sporting it earlier on. They could discuss and deliberate that ring and how it came to be for the rest of their lives, however, they'd never know just how it came to linger on Elena's finger.

**AN: Happy Holidays; whichever way you celebrate it, if at all. Question: which holiday do you participate in? Leave it in a review! =)**


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